Wurm Unlimited and RL Update

Feeling: Fried	Working: N/A	Listening: N/A
Playing: N/A	Watching: N/A	Weather: Cloudy

I have no energy so here's a quick update.
Server support ran me around in circles for an entire 24 hours before telling me they couldn't touch the server because I laid into them for disabling a huge mod (that would absolutely corrupt the database) without asking me first...
But that's not the worst of the issues.
I told them going in that the console was showing errors and asked them to look at them.
Rather than look at them they aggressively pushed "download this external software and run tests on your server and give us your IP"..
Which -- guys I've owned servers, I've helped with servers, I've been on server teams before. This was bizarre.
Like- why was I having to do this- why couldn't they do this?
But even moreso- why was it that they dodged the topic of "the console has errors" every time I brought it up.
Then rather than checking the console- they just decided it's best to migrate the server over to another machine.
And as you can guess- : | It did not fix anything.
So they've washed their hands clean and my players are being overly patient.
We're all talking about moving to GTX today.

The whole thing had me so stressed out that I decided that yesterday was the day I'd start to try to replace some of my things that desperately need to be even though I'm terrified of spending money with the way the economy is.
I'm weirdly excited and terrified because I replaced my underwear and bought two shirts.

Quick Update Before D-day

Feeling: pretty sleepy	Working: N/A	Listening: thunderheist - jerk it
Playing: N/A	Watching: N/A	Weather: cold!

I'm releasing my new wurm unlimited server today.
Already slightly disenchanted with the idea of being a server owner but I'm glad to be able to play again i i
I'm still working hard on trying to fix my sleeping schedule before d-day (25th)
Just woke up from a nap- I'm hoping it helps me stay up the rest of the day.

I know I have a lot of trauma with my mother (and her shitty husband) but she asked me to make cookies with her and the little kid in me (before she abandoned me) really wants that to happen.
I'm annoyed with myself about these feelings. I feel like I'm setting myself up somehow.

I did buy myself a couple december presents- something I'm scared of doing x.x
I bought some eye cream for the giant bags under my eyes and lotion (just some cheapo stuffs- but I really needed them)
I also found two characters I really loved that I scooped up yesterday.

I haven't named them yet (regardless that they had names when I brought them home) but they are sweet soft boyfriends and I love them i i
I'm hoping this gives me a reason to get better at drawing guys.
I'll probably tweak their colours but literally not by much. They're really perfect as they are.
What I really can't wait to do is build their wardrobes lol
Also can I just point out how great the art is? Nuntu at toyhouse did a really great job with these. I'm especially in love with the way they draw shoes.

Wurm Unlimited Update

Feeling: Surreal	Working: Wurm Unlimited server	Listening: Blackpink - Kill This Love
Playing: N/A	Watching: N/A	Weather: N/A

The last few days/week or so I've felt ill.
Couldn't do much but sleep. I've been sleeping and waking up throughout the days.

Last night I couldn't sleep so I stayed up long enough to finally see something I, myself, put into wurm.


I've been wanting to add things to wurm ever since I started playing the online version.
It makes me feel like I stand a chance of actually modding for my fav game now :)

4dopt - Greenbear

Feeling: Exhausted	Working: Waking up	Listening: The fan
Playing: N/A	Watching: N/A	Weather: N/A

Wurm Unlimited Update

Feeling: A bit ill	Working: New wurm server	Listening: N/A
Playing: N/A	Watching: N/A	Weather: ?

So against my better judgement I've gone ahead and started working on a new Wurm Unlimited server.
It's been three years, apparently, since I had a server. It feels a lot longer than that.
I'm still pretty conflicted about having my own. The last time I had my own I was very bitter with everyone because they would ignore the rules so often.
I remember most days I would wake up and have something to complain about to Adam regarding the server. Most of it was interactions with other people.
I made this decision, however, because no one else seems to be stepping up.
I have the knowledge to put one together and there's a large void at the moment from actions 25-1000 that are missing. I'm meeting more people like me that aren't sure where to go next so they're just quitting Wurm altogether. And that's depressing.

Wurm Unlimited Update

Feeling: Frustrated	Working: Terraforming	Listening: N/A
Playing: Wurm Unlimited: The Dragon's Fire	Watching: N/A	Weather: N/A

So I let my guard down for a moment in Wurm and tried to connect with someone who might love the game as much as I do.
A few days went by. We were very social in GL. But I noticed the energy deteriorating even though I kept my pace.
The server is broken. There are lots of red flags that I've reported to the caretaker. They've filed countless reports to pingperfect. Still no answers.
The past two days my "friend" didn't sign in.
I know I'm early- but this is normally how it goes for me. A bright burning flame to quickly fizzle out into smoke.
I'm not sure how or why I keep doing this. I know to be myself. I know to laugh and enjoy myself and be helpful and positive.
But every single time.
Maybe tomorrow will be different.

Nothing Special

Feeling: Tired / Worried	Working: N/A	Listening: N/A
Playing: N/A	Watching: Erased - Pt 5	Weather: ???

Just checking in to note that I'm miserable.
I'm stuck in a state of not really wanting to do anything.
Don't wanna play video games, don't wanna watch anything.
Don't wanna draw or create.
I mean- I feel a pull- a low hum of desire to.. but..
I just want sleep. I only want sleep. I wish I could.
I'm dreading but happy about monday. But I'm worried I wont be prepared.
I guess I'll check in and note how it goes.