| Feeling: A bit ill | Working: New wurm server | Listening: N/A |
| Playing: N/A | Watching: N/A | Weather: ? |
So against my better judgement I've gone ahead and started working on a new Wurm Unlimited server.
It's been three years, apparently, since I had a server. It feels a lot longer than that.
I'm still pretty conflicted about having my own. The last time I had my own I was very bitter with everyone because they would ignore the rules so often.
I remember most days I would wake up and have something to complain about to Adam regarding the server. Most of it was interactions with other people.
I made this decision, however, because no one else seems to be stepping up.
I have the knowledge to put one together and there's a large void at the moment from actions 25-1000 that are missing. I'm meeting more people like me that aren't sure where to go next so they're just quitting Wurm altogether. And that's depressing.
But I'm also not ready to go back there because of how it left me feeling when a person I let my guard down to hurt me. ):
I log back in every few months as a decency, but I always check my friends list and the two people that I feel uncomfortable having anywhere on the server because it hurts to see their names still log in every now and then as well.
Now that I think about it- it's possible they could join the server I create and I'd have to speak with them. I'm not sure how I'll feel about that, but I guess I'll cross that bridge if I come to it ):
So I've been considering, downloading and editting 80+ config files, contacting mod owners/maintainers the past few days.
I'm tired now. But I also think I caught my mother's virus (even though I was very strict with my own mask wearing and hand washing).
I feel overwhelmingly tired, mind and body, I feel achey, I feel nauseated.
The internet ended up going out today. I thought I would be fine without it, sit around and continue editting config files while I waited. But my body told me it was time to lay down so I curled up in bed, watched the last episode of "Lookism" on netflix, Shortcake curled up against my stomach and I was out like a light for five solid hours.
(Btw I really enjoyed "Lookism" and will probably go on and read the webtoon even though I've been avoiding it ever since I first saw it ages ago)
The friend I made on the last server pokes me every now and then to see how my own is coming along- but they're obviously not wanting to be friends.
I don't really hold much against them, honestly. It makes me sad they don't want to be friends, but I'm glad I'm filling a need for them as I am for myself.
Will I play on the server? Idk? I'd like to- but when I made my first/last server I was so disgusted with how I was being treated by other people for a thing I was paying for and could barely afford that I didn't wanna be around ):
But yes, I'm creating it for me in a way that I'd want to play it.
